Well, as most of you probably know, Verbum Dei is a Jesuit High School. Dedicated to making men "with and for others" and all that Ignatian stuff. Another thing the school is big on is promoting brotherhood, which I believe I mentioned in my post about homecoming. So the theme of the Freshman Retreat was just that--brotherhood. I have the fun benefit of my job in being a part of Campus Ministry staff meetings with Krista, director of Christian Service, Karen, Campus Minsiter, and two other teachers who are also part of the Campus Min staff, EJ and Miss Lawler (who is from Philadelphia and also new to the area and only ever calls me Mr. Rooney. She's hilarious and quirky and one of my favorite people at the school). Anyway, we were working on Freshman Retreat for a while, well, I was present in the planning though I didn't do all that much in terms of input.
So Saturday the 6th rolled around and I hopped in Barney (our trusty purple four runner, generously provided for us by Verb) and drove to school.
There were a number of activities throughout the day. Some group bonding games and things like that. There were also two talks; one from Mr. Traber (a former major league baseball player) on true and false brotherhood, and another by a student. There were small group sessions after the talks. My job was more to assist the small group leader (one of the JEDIS; the Campus Ministry student leaders) and to try to keep things on task.
Leading a small group of high school freshmen in a small group discussion is basically a Sisyphisian effort. Especially these kids. The difference in behavior between the first years and the seniors is especially sharp at Verbum Dei, due to its population and the amount of discipline and responsibility they have students take for their actions and grades. The group had a hard time paying attention, concentrating, or answering the questions, but I did notice a bit of a change by the end of the night.
The weekend was the first time I started to realize I am working with people much less mature than I'm used to--I know that I'm working in a high school but often I forget what that means; even the seniors are still very immature and have a lot of growing to do! It was kind of a revelation and made my reaction to things a bit more relaxed.
One of the coolest things about the retreat was listening to the senior and junior JEDIS tell their experiences at the school and explain the great things it's done for them. The student who gave his talk explained that at Verb he felt for the first time true friendship and for the first time had a real support system and people who had his back. He related that through a story about his mother getting very ill. The student whose group I sat in on also spent a lot of time explaining to the freshmen how fortunate they are to be at Verbum Dei and to have the opportunities they do before them: invested faculty, work experience, and a real sense of brotherhood and support among classmates. I don't think a lot of other schools can claim to be about brotherhood or building relationships among students in the way this school does. The staff so often tells the students that they are brothers, that each of their classmates is there to help lift each other up. It's very empowering and it certainly was not my high school experience.
Perhaps the most entertaining experience for me was watching my small group perform the trust walk activity. The JEDI leader led the guys in a train around campus while each of them was blindfolded. They did not perform this task well at all. None of them knew how to close their mouths and listen to directions from the leader, nor did they know how to help each other out. Instead they yelled at one another, constantly asked where they were or otherwise horsed around. It was quite amusing. They were led over benches, under railings, and walked all around campus.
In the end though, I think it was for the best that they didn't do well--I think it brought the lesson home even more. Where are you in a relationship without trust? And how can you trust without communication, listening, and comfort with the people around you? I think it made them think about the nature of trust and it's probably not something that comes easily to a lot of these boys. It would be interesting to see them do this same activity in four years.
For the most part, Verbum Dei does a great job in promoting and maintaing pride in the school among the students. And I believe it's experiences like this that manage that; challenging and encouraging the students to really own their experience and to put their faith in one another, when so many of them probably have lots of reasons not to trust other people is really very profound.
The seniors wrote letters to freshmen and I had to skim through them to make sure they were appropriate. While some of them were eye rollingly generic, a fair number of them were heartfelt and welcoming. A lot of them wrote about how they close they've grown to classmates and what great friendships they've formed in there years at the school.
There was also great food! For lunch on Saturday we got Subway sandwiches (oh how I love sandwiches) and dinner were chicken enchiladas from a delicious Mexican place owned by family of one of the staff people. I could have eaten them forever.
Sunday morning there was another moving moment; and that was at the end of the mass. The closing song was "Lean on Me," which was just so incredibly fitting. And the absolute best part, maybe of the whole weekend, was hearing pretty much all of the guys sing along and a lot of them wrap their arms over their neighbor's shoulders as they sang together.
All in all, it was a privilege to be there and experience this and to be a part of this institution that does such good things for these kids and the community. It was one of the first times I really felt like I was part of something special, even if I didn't do much. I was glad to witness a small part of these students' lives.
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